This is my embarrassing secret. It’s not particularly secret but given my love of books and sharing books, it does seem odd for me. But I really dislike reading aloud. I love reading, but I love reading in my head.
I never liked speaking aloud. When I was a child, my school wasn’t aware I could read because I refused to speak at school, so my mum had to record me reading at home to prove that I could. The teachers then played the tapes to the class (yes, tapes, this was 1980/81!) and I had meltdowns because I hated to hear my own voice. As an adult I now think what was the point of this? No other child had to read in front of the class, so why were my tapes played? Especially given the reaction it got from me. This is one of the many factors in my wondering whether, had I been at school today instead of 30+ years ago, I would have been diagnosed with Asperger’s…
But I digress. I hate reading aloud. I can’t do voices. I certainly can’t act. I prefer to be quiet than speak. But… I usually read about 3-6 picture books or chapters to my daughters every single day as a minimum. Why? Because how will they know how wonderful stories are unless they are read to? Because how will they increase their vocabulary unless they are exposed to different words? Because what’s the point of having books if they’re not read? 
A recent survey discovered that two thirds of parents didn’t read to their babies, and don’t buy them books. This seems almost impossible to me because my peers are all book lovers. I bought my first book for my first born just after the twelve week scan (The Very Hungry Caterpillar, in case you were wondering!) But I know that many parents don’t feel they can read, they they’re doing something wrong, that it’s a job for school and I will do what I can to change this viewpoint.
Therefore I am more than delighted to support Read It Daddy’s campaign to encourage parents to read and share books with their children. If I can do it, despite my dislike, then others certainly can too! So, along with Read It Daddy I also pledge to:
- Review and talk about children’s picture books, apps, comics and other great ways of introducing books to kids and spread the word far and wide
- Liaise with and raise the profile of the various organisations and agencies (such as the excellent Booktrust Bookstart Programme) who are working hard to encourage children and parents to get involved with and read more books.
- Talk (and Tweet) to and liaise with parents, bloggers, publishers, authors, illustrators, librarians, teachers and organisations already committed to encouraging children’s interest in books and add support to what they’re doing.
So, parents, do you read to your children every day? You do? Really? Well done you! I’m afraid I haven’t, but I am making more of an effort to even on days I really don’t feel like it! So another pledge from me: I will read to my children every day in 2013.
Precisely this subject was going to be part of a future post – this and the ‘time’ thing are probably two of the toughest nuts to crack. Not everyone likes reading aloud, not everyone can spare time and some parents work so hard / work such long hours and rely on child care so don’t even get the opportunity in the first place to read to their kids. I’ll definitely visit this topic again at length in the aforementioned upcoming post but in brief my take on this is that reading to your kids, however you like to do so, is reading to an audience who love you for who you are, know you and what you can do, and will absolutely want to spend quiet moments with you doing something you all enjoy. It took me a VERY long time before I felt confident enough to read aloud to Charlotte once she started to understand lengthier books, and it most certainly didn’t happen overnight. All other forms of ‘out loud’ speaking, I guess you’re using your own language and vocabulary rather than someone else’s so its easier but I really want to hear more on this from people and I also need to hear from people who can’t read for any reason (for instance, from parents who can’t see or hear, parents with learning difficulties, dyslexia etc) because quite often the current experts and various articles seem to completely miss these vitally important folk out of the loop.
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This is a lovely post. Reading aloud doesn’t come naturally to a lot of people. I enjoy it but my husband never really liked it UNTIL we started reading to each other. Now he insists on reading to me at bedtime! Admittedly it’s not The Very Hungry Caterpillar (we tend to prefer thrillers) but I love being read to and he enjoys reading now and happily reads to our daughter. Interestingly, while I love reading aloud and doing the voices, Holly doesn’t like me doing that. She prefers a standard voice throughout and gets upset if I try to characterise. Anyway, we read aloud most if not all nights and it means a lot to our family to carry on doing so. Well done to you for putting aside your discomfort for the sake of your daughters.
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A very lovely, and moving, post. Thank you for sharing your secret with us. And a big hurrah to you for overcoming your discomfort and reading aloud with your kids – this is such an important story for other parents to hear.
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Thanks for sharing this Anne-Marie, it isn’t always easy for parents to read aloud to their children. You have really highlighted the fact that becoming a parent doesn’t necessarily mean that you are suddenly going to be confident about reading bedtime stories (or stories at any other time!). I used to teach adult literacy and I remember one lady who came to my class just to practise reading aloud so that she could read to her children. It is easy to look at statistics and generalise about the number of parents not reading aloud to children, maybe a lot would love to but don’t have the confidence or the ability.
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I was so interested to read this, especially as I am lucky enough (I now realise!) to enjoy reading aloud. You’ve made me think about some of the reasons why parents are not so comfortable. And speaking with my app blog hat on, perhaps it’s one reason why the “read to me” option has become standard. While I read books every day to my two, I think I rarely read their book apps to them. We always use the narration. Perhaps that should be my challenge for 2013?
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I hated it reading aloud as a child and anything involving speaking in public (reciting poetry – still quite common in France – , drama etc). I still hate public speaking as an adult. I have butterflies in my stomach just thinking about introducing an author in the school hall. But I do love reading stories aloud, and despite my loathing of anything to do with doing drama, I love making silly voices. We don’t read every single day but most days, definitely.
Many adults struggle with reading, the percentage is particularly high in this country in fact. I remember watching a programme on Channel 4 (I think) when they had trialed a new phonics system in an inner London school: a dad was crying because he could not read, so could not read to his children – it was heartbreaking.
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Good for you Anne-marie for overcoming your natural preference. I am lucky enough to enjoy reading aloud and doing different voices etc, but talking to other parents has made me realise that not everyone feels the same comfort with reading aloud. That’s why campaigns like Read it Daddy’s are so important – to encourage people and give them hints and tips for doing so. When I told one of my friends how much I loved doing silly voices he said it had never occurred to him to do anything like that. A few weeks later he told me he had been doing it and he ( and his daughter) had been enjoying reading so much more!
I don’t mind reading aloud (as long as only children are involved – speaking to adults in public terrifies me, although I grit my teeth and do it occasionally) but I was one of those children who hate being read aloud to. I think it was largely because my mum insisted on doing all the voices an putting a lot of (hammed-up) expression into her reading, which I found intensely patronising. And because I prefer reading at my own pace. Even now if someone is reading something to which I have the text, I’ll completely switch off from listening and just read the words instead. I don’t think it ever stymied my reading habits, but I possibly offended a few adults along the way!
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This is a beautiful word picture of what parents will do for their children. Going to those tender places and ignoring our instincts just to give them those moments we know are important. This was a beautiful post & I appreciate your transparency.
Thats really fascinating that you don’t like reading aloud (and really weird that the school played your tapes to the class). I don;t like reading aloud because I struggle with reading. I read very slow and I still trip over words. At the age of 36 I sound like a 7 year old when I read to my son. In fact some 7 year olds probably read a bit better. But like you I persist because I know how important a love of reading is. And as I don;t have one myself I guess I have to fake it. Fortunately Hublet does have a natural love of reading so I hope Goblin will pick it up from him, rather than my aversion to most things written.
I’m featuring your post on this weeks Sunday Parenting Party (feel free to grab an I was featured button from my button page if you’d like one.)
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I am another one who hates reading aloud!! I had a stutter and was told I was bad at reading in class and to this day, I do not enjoy it at all.
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