I Should Be Doing Something Else

No matter what I’m actually doing, I always feel I should be doing something else. If I’m decluttering, I should be cleaning. If I’m reading, I should be reviewing. If I’m walking, I should be doing the laundry. If I’m putting the clothes away, I should be tidying the lounge floor. If I’m sweeping the kitchen, I should be cooking dinner…

The problem with all these conflicting thoughts is that my brain just freezes and can’t decide what to do. I can’t do everything, so which things should I prioritise? I want it all done already, and if I schedule I get stressed by the length of the list.

I spend far too many hours starting at walls, or playing inane games on my phone. If I’d walked in all that wasted time, the house would still be a mess but I’d be fitter.

And I’d still feel guilty about the mess.

I’m still processing my autism diagnosis (autism spectrum condition, not Aspergers, although I assume I’m Aspergers) and trying to work out methods that will work for me. I have spoon limitations (look up spoon theory if that makes no sense) and now I know I also have executive function limitations, I can’t follow a scheme that might work for thousands of other people. I need a way of decluttering and organising that actually works for me. I need to get rid of the backlog of mess and have time to have a life again.

And I really need to write all those book reviews I have in my head. Sigh.

3 responses to “I Should Be Doing Something Else

  1. I find non linear lists with doodles less threatening.
    Jax Blunt (@liveotherwise) recently posted..Saturday snippets 9 may 2015My Profile

    • Just thinking of what I need to put on a list is giving me a headache at the moment! Lots of things I needed to do have now been done, which is awesome, but my brain was ready to do them and the change hasn’t processed yet! I’ll try some doodle lists, it might help. Thank-you 🙂
      Anne-Marie recently posted..I Should Be Doing Something ElseMy Profile

  2. I think you’ve probably expressed what so many mums feel – that there is never enough time in the day to do everything, and whatever we choose always brings with it a smidgen on guilt.
    Do your best, what’s best for you and that’s the best that can possibly be asked for.
    #OxfordshireBloggers x

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