Day Four in the October Blogging House…

I will blog every day, but they won’t necessarily be coherent. I almost wrote a rant today about (yet another) hate page on Facebook, and I may still write it but my brain isn’t really up for thinking about it right now.

So today’s post will be a random steam of consciousness thing, whilst trying to ignore how I’m actually feeling as usual because I don’t want to go there.

I almost wrote blogtober in the heading but I think that’s an actual thing. No idea what it is our what prompts (if any) it has. I try to do those something-a-day prompts because I like the idea but there’s always things that are so utterly irrelevant to me. And I’m rubbish at doing things that I find irrelevant.

I was like it at school. And I think I was right. There was no point learning the bulk of things that were covered because I have forgotten them through never needing them, and the things I taught myself were more interesting.

So when my children don’t want to do homework, I agree with them. Is there really any point in arguing and causing animosity with a child just because some people have a “I had to do it so they should to” attitude?

Not that I think children should do whatever they want. There’s a difference between trusting a child’s intrinsic motivation and not caring at all.

I can’t conform. I don’t want to confirm. The world is making me feel very cross at the moment, and wishing that I was and different species.

I found a note in one of the papers I kept from my childhood, signed many years ago, saying I resigned from being human. So technically I’m not, because I resigned more than half a life ago 😉

But I still feel like I’m doing everything wrong. The decisions I’ve made were wrong. I don’t trust myself. I’m the broken one. It’s not an easy way to live a life.

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