Sometimes it sneaks up and you don’t realise that the long-term ‘head cold’ you seemed to have probably wasn’t that after all. I did have a cold for a bit too, which confused everything.
So I’m in depression mode. Have seen GP. Need to phone Talking Space (e-mailed saying I don’t like phones, really nice reply but I still need to phone initially) so obviously I’m avoiding that, which won’t help.
Another side-effect is not feeling able to thank people for nice comments. I guess because I feel I don’t deserve them. But it’s so rude not to. But I feel a bit sick thinking about trying to. So I stare into space. That’s not very helpful either.
I decided not to change my anti-depressants just yet. They may not be working to keep everything completely at bay but I’m too scared to go to the place I go to when I’m not on them, and GP said I have to wean off these to try another. With Christmas so close, I’ll stick with what I’ve got for now.
Self awareness helps. I am trying very hard to talk myself into doing something other than staring into space. I’ve not got there yet, but it’s getting close. Something creative will help.